Thank you so much for sharing this process and important resource! We need more templates for how to call people IN to integrity rather than ostracize, excommunicate, ‘cancel’ and ‘call out’.
Thank you for this open letter; I have been tracking this case, and I would sign it. Thank you for speaking publicly with such clarity and precision, and demonstrating what it looks like for men to hold each other to account with compassion and care.
I had no idea who Justin Baldoni is or was before this post came into my inbox. But I can say this is what it makes it hard for me to trust any of these dudes who have an audience over a certain size - I want small to medium size groups, followings, etc in most social things because these “bigger” dudes are all COOKED!
I understand your intentions and that your words come from a good place, but I think you’re missing the bigger picture. The goal shouldn’t be to replace toxic masculinity with toxic femininity. From Europe, we watched the woke era that followed the #MeToo movement with shock and disbelief. While it was a necessary phase in our collective evolution, cancel culture and censorship cannot be our end destination. They shouldn’t be.
Justin Baldoni fighting back is not inherently wrong - it invites us to address the nuances of human behavior beyond labels. The real way to combat both toxic masculinity and toxic femininity is through a commitment to our deep inner truth, embracing who we truly are. This includes accepting that others’ truths may differ from ours. Neutrality and deep commitment to truth don’t mean silence or submission in the face of aggression. Blake Lively has shown us that women can be aggressors too. Toxic femininity exists, just as toxic masculinity does.
It’s a complex terrain we are all learning to navigate, but your words suggest a worldview where women are powerless. It feels as though you’re suggesting that the only way men can uplift women is through surrender and submission. But that’s not what empowerment looks like.
If you see women as powerless, we may end up powerless. Perhaps that’s why many women find feminist men off-putting - because they see us as victims instead of equals. See us as powerful. We are capable of fighting our own battles. Never forget: women are the creators of life. That is the greatest power anyone can hold.
Interesting perspective. Which parts of the letter suggested a worldview where women are powerless, or that the only way men can uplift women is through surrender and submission?
Every word you wrote comes from the assumption that Baldoni held all the power while Lively was powerless. Personally, I don’t see Blake Lively as powerless in this situation. That’s where my perspective differs from yours.
Wow. Someone hasn't read his lawsuits. It's amazing to me how easily people believe and parrot PR spin without researching or learning the facts. 100% of the truth is on Justin's side. It takes a really sick person, or a manipulative narcissist, to falsely accuse a person - who went above and beyond to accommodate her outrageous behavior - of sexual harassment. Shame on her for making it even more difficult for real victims of SH to be believed. This is career-ending for her, and good riddance.
I just don't understand how people are reading her lawsuit, coming to (wrong) conclusions, and publicly writing about them without reading his two, easily-Googled lawsuits.
While I appreciate the intent here I think this might miss the mark. This letter has already decided that Baldoni did indeed do what he is accused of and therefore should take accountability. I think a lot of the discourse around this case fails to consider the power dynamics at play beyond gender. As an intersectional feminist, I can acknowledge the horrible ways in which money, status, or in group status affects the fallout from these claims. In the most extreme example, we have Emmett Till. I’m not saying Lively is wrong or Baldoni is wrong I’m saying it’s wrong of us to say so strongly either way
In case this makes its way to him, here is a model for what a true accountability process can look like: https://medium.com/reid-mihalkos-accountability-process
Thank you so much for sharing this process and important resource! We need more templates for how to call people IN to integrity rather than ostracize, excommunicate, ‘cancel’ and ‘call out’.
Yes!
Thank you for this open letter; I have been tracking this case, and I would sign it. Thank you for speaking publicly with such clarity and precision, and demonstrating what it looks like for men to hold each other to account with compassion and care.
I wonder if there is a way we could actually create an actual letter to him and have folks ‘sign it’. Thank you for your powerful comment.
I had no idea who Justin Baldoni is or was before this post came into my inbox. But I can say this is what it makes it hard for me to trust any of these dudes who have an audience over a certain size - I want small to medium size groups, followings, etc in most social things because these “bigger” dudes are all COOKED!
Also: https://www.ted.com/talks/justin_baldoni_why_i_m_done_trying_to_be_man_enough
A little extra context:
https://open.substack.com/pub/celestemdavis/p/when-astroturfing-meets-patriarchy?r=mu9ez&utm_medium=ios
I understand your intentions and that your words come from a good place, but I think you’re missing the bigger picture. The goal shouldn’t be to replace toxic masculinity with toxic femininity. From Europe, we watched the woke era that followed the #MeToo movement with shock and disbelief. While it was a necessary phase in our collective evolution, cancel culture and censorship cannot be our end destination. They shouldn’t be.
Justin Baldoni fighting back is not inherently wrong - it invites us to address the nuances of human behavior beyond labels. The real way to combat both toxic masculinity and toxic femininity is through a commitment to our deep inner truth, embracing who we truly are. This includes accepting that others’ truths may differ from ours. Neutrality and deep commitment to truth don’t mean silence or submission in the face of aggression. Blake Lively has shown us that women can be aggressors too. Toxic femininity exists, just as toxic masculinity does.
It’s a complex terrain we are all learning to navigate, but your words suggest a worldview where women are powerless. It feels as though you’re suggesting that the only way men can uplift women is through surrender and submission. But that’s not what empowerment looks like.
If you see women as powerless, we may end up powerless. Perhaps that’s why many women find feminist men off-putting - because they see us as victims instead of equals. See us as powerful. We are capable of fighting our own battles. Never forget: women are the creators of life. That is the greatest power anyone can hold.
Interesting perspective. Which parts of the letter suggested a worldview where women are powerless, or that the only way men can uplift women is through surrender and submission?
Every word you wrote comes from the assumption that Baldoni held all the power while Lively was powerless. Personally, I don’t see Blake Lively as powerless in this situation. That’s where my perspective differs from yours.
I heard that sentiment in your first post, and am still curious which specific parts of the letter you refer to.
Wow. Someone hasn't read his lawsuits. It's amazing to me how easily people believe and parrot PR spin without researching or learning the facts. 100% of the truth is on Justin's side. It takes a really sick person, or a manipulative narcissist, to falsely accuse a person - who went above and beyond to accommodate her outrageous behavior - of sexual harassment. Shame on her for making it even more difficult for real victims of SH to be believed. This is career-ending for her, and good riddance.
Thanks for sharing these. I will dive deeper into them soon but can see more clearly how the stories may have been spun.
Maybe I'm wrong. I am totally open to that possibility. Would love more information. Would you be willing to post any relevant links here?
I just don't understand how people are reading her lawsuit, coming to (wrong) conclusions, and publicly writing about them without reading his two, easily-Googled lawsuits.
Lawsuit against BL/RR/LS:
https://s3.documentcloud.org/documents/25493725/baldoni-v-reynolds-lively.pdf?fbclid=IwY2xjawH_fntleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHf2RLctAj4DQN9vwE8h8MMuT2SepQ3ADyKZog8JnqiTxumzGtnX-Dteq4w_aem_2R4chWpif6YGvxTgYczPmA
Lawsuit against the NYT:
https://deadline.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Justin-Baldoni-LASC.pdf?fbclid=IwY2xjawH_fjBleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHZ3s6zBLtzO3f4HBCw-4d8kwJGBjuIlcbc2B9qIAyy0aJ0v5oREb5HqpOQ_aem_-P53B30R8qqGZRCX1yP8AA
While I appreciate the intent here I think this might miss the mark. This letter has already decided that Baldoni did indeed do what he is accused of and therefore should take accountability. I think a lot of the discourse around this case fails to consider the power dynamics at play beyond gender. As an intersectional feminist, I can acknowledge the horrible ways in which money, status, or in group status affects the fallout from these claims. In the most extreme example, we have Emmett Till. I’m not saying Lively is wrong or Baldoni is wrong I’m saying it’s wrong of us to say so strongly either way
I don’t know why Substack sent me this but this aged like milk lmao