A Simple Formula for Men’s Healing Work
and invitations to deepen into your own work
Before we get into it: I'm going to start holding monthly workshops, and will be on Substack Live regularly in the coming weeks (which are not workshops). Thank you to those who showed up to the first Live—your presence and engagement meant more than you know.
The first monthly 60-min workshop:
LEANING IN: PRACTICING AT YOUR EDGE
Sunday 30 March, 10:00 am PDT
I'll send a reminder with the Zoom link the day before. This workshop will focus on practical tools for staying present during challenging moments—the space where growth happens.
A Note About Support
While we're here, I want to express my deepest gratitude to Steven and Mike, my first paid subscribers. Your belief in this work means everything. Your contribution isn't just financial—it's a vote of confidence that these conversations about men's work, authentic presence, and breaking cycles matter in the world.
For those who've found value in these writings—whether you’ve recognized yourself in the stories, applied the practices, or simply felt less alone in your journey—I invite you to consider becoming a paid subscriber.
Your support allows me to:
Create more in-depth resources and guides
Host monthly workshops and live sessions
Reach more men who need this work
Eventually bring this work to communities with limited access
We're building something important here—a different kind of conversation about masculinity, fatherhood, and presence. One based not on performance or perfection, but on awareness, connection, practice, and integration.
If this work has opened something in you, please consider supporting its growth.
Blessings,
Sean
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As many of you know, I’ve been leading one-off men’s medicine retreats for a while. These retreats have each served as catalysts for massive positive change in the lives of the men who have attended. A handful of the men have forged deep friendships out of the connections that began on these weekends.
In service to deepening into the vital work of supporting men, I’m offering a container starting in July 2025 for men committed to creating real, lasting change in their relationships and lives.
Below you’ll find the cohort details. It’s a longer post than usual, and there’s an offer for a thing at the end. There’s no pressure from me to buy anything if it’s not for you—that’s the whole point of this work: to encourage your sovereignty.
If you have questions about the cohort, please feel free to reach out in the comments, DM, or schedule a call (link at the bottom).
If you want to connect about the thing but know you’re not going to buy, reach out anyway. I promise to not try to sell you anything. I’d just love to hear about what’s going on for you.
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Into the Fire
A Five-Month Men's Cohort for Transforming Shame into Choice, Patterns into Presence, and Stepping Into Leadership
You've done so much of your inner work, yet something big still remains in the way. You've attended the workshops, sat in ceremonies, and healed enough patterns to become a father, a husband, a leader in your community, successful in your craft.
Yet the Big Thing lurks in the shadows, quietly demanding your attention. You've tried everything—denying its existence, distracting yourself with work, numbing it with technology, substances, or sex. You've even tried talking about it intellectually, only to watch it grow more intimidating.
Despite searching for the right container, you've never found a group of men you trusted would truly stand in the fire with you—who wouldn't flinch away when things got messy, who wouldn't try to fix you or rush you through the process.
Now you're stepping into your life in a deeper, more meaningful way. You can't help it—your life is calling. But the Thing is still there, still asking.
Some part of you has considered simply living with the consequences of never dealing with it. But you know better. You've seen where that path leads.
And here you are, wondering if or when it will bring everything crashing down, again.
I get it, because I've been there.
That Thing that haunts you haunted me too. It showed up in the moments when I was least present with myself—in conflict with my wife: as she cried in the other room needing my support, I numbed out to ignore her pain; when I got a promotion, I sabotaged the best work situation I'd ever had.
It was the voice that said, burn it all down. You don't deserve any of this. You're a piece of shit. You'll never belong, and you'll never be enough.
I did what many men do: I considered suicide. I considered becoming a hermit in the Yukon. Anything to save the world from having to deal with me.
After years of devoted suffering, I began to read the books. I attended the workshops. I sat in ceremony. I gathered insights and understanding. But understanding wasn't enough. The patterns of self-hatred lived in my body, deeper than words could reach.
What changed everything for me was finding a container of men that I trusted enough to hold my darkness and shame without turning away, no matter how big or expressive it became. A container where I could lean into, instead of away from, the most uncomfortable parts of myself. Where I could learn to expand at my edge, instead of contract.
I practiced vulnerability in the men’s circles. I feared that I would never come back during deep psychedelic ceremonies. I sat and breathed for a long time with the pain and the fear, just letting them be there.
No matter what came up, I was invited—not pushed, coerced, or convinced—to follow the path that felt most right for me. My body knew what it needed to do to resolve the suffering—but first it needed to trust that it was safe.
I ended up choosing to walk through the fire of my shame and fear and anger and not-enoughness—because I was curious to see what survived.
Ultimately, there weren't any fireworks. Nothing needed to die. Instead, I learned to stay present with myself—especially in the moments when everything in me wanted to run, shut down, or control.
This capacity wasn't something I was born with. It was something I built—through dedicated practice, through brotherhood, through integration work that helped to bridge new experiences of insight, connection, love, compassion, clarity—into my daily life and relationships.
It changed everything for me, from how I show up with my son in really difficult moments, to how I show up with my wife in intimacy. My businesses began to thrive as I started to really give of my self to them, rather than give up myself to them.
Now I guide men through this same journey—Into the Fire.
And through it. There's a saying that goes, everything you've ever needed is all inside you already. There's truth in that, but it misses something crucial: the wounds that form in relationship can only fully heal in relationship.
This is one of the great lies told to men—that our deepest work must be done alone. That reaching for support somehow diminishes us. That true strength means carrying burdens in silence.
Look at any man who's truly transformed, and you'll find the same truth: he didn't do it alone. He found others who could witness his darkness without turning away. Who could hold space for his rage, his grief, his terror—not to fix it, but to allow it to move through him, and out.
Humans evolved in tribes, not in isolation. Our nervous systems literally require co-regulation to function optimally. The idea that a man should process decades of pain by himself isn't just ineffective—it's fundamentally at odds with how we're designed.
Success in business, in family, in community—all require connection. Why would healing be any different?
But there's a critical element missing from most men's work: self-agency.
The container matters, and so does your sovereignty within it. True transformation isn't about surrendering your will to a substance or a guru. It's about reclaiming your power to choose—moment by moment, breath by breath.
Most men oscillate between forcing outcomes and abdicating responsibility. Between isolation and blind following.
The path I'm describing is different. It's about standing in your own authority while remaining open to support. About choosing your way forward rather than having it chosen for you. About knowing when to lean into the group and when to trust your own inner compass.
This is why every element of Into the Fire is an invitation, not a prescription. Every practice, every ceremony, every conversation is an opportunity for you to exercise choice. To strengthen that muscle of discernment that knows what's right for you. To practice saying yes when it's authentic and no when that is authentic.
Men who've developed this kind of self-agency are exceedingly rare. They stand for what matters even when no one else will. They remain present with what's uncomfortable without controlling or abandoning it. They choose from clarity rather than fear.
This kind of sovereignty isn't about independence from others. It's about interdependence—knowing that the strongest men aren't lone wolves but pack leaders who understand both their unique purpose and their fundamental connection to the whole.
The Solution
Into the Fire is a five-month container designed specifically for men who've touched the edges of transformation but are still stuck, who still struggle internally, and in relationship. Maybe you know there’s trauma in there somewhere; maybe you wouldn’t quite call it that.
Through four integrated pillars, you'll build the capacity to stay present with yourself—especially in those moments when everything in you wants to run, shut down, or control:
AWARENESS: Learning to pay close and deep attention to you, your body, your experience.
RELATIONAL DEPTH: Build your capacity and agility to stay connected with yourself and others, even through discomfort, conflict, vulnerability.
EXPANSION: Explore the edges of consciousness to reveal what's possible beyond conditioning, ego, and beliefs—below the surface of your conscious mind.
INTEGRATION: A dedicated practice to becoming whole again, to bringing all the insights and skills and experiences into your body and your life.
This isn't another workshop promising breakthroughs. It's a comprehensive process of transformation that honors both your sovereignty and the depth of connection possible in dedicated brotherhood.
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This May Be For You If:
The idea of being vulnerable with a group of men feels uncomfortable, but somehow worthwhile.
You want authentic connection with other men in your life. Brotherhood. Accountability. Healthy Challenge. Celebration.
Life is a lot. You want to dedicate time to focus on you, your goals, your path.
You’re still reading this.
You've experienced glimpses of what's possible, but struggle to embody that awareness in daily life with your partner, your children, your work.
You’re on your healing path, potentially in therapy, and you sense that you’re ready for more significant transformation.
You sense that what's on the other side of this work isn't just personal healing, but a profound shift in how you show up in every relationship that matters to you.
This May Not Be For You Right Now If:
You’re a brand new father
Devoting two long weekends over five months and weekly calls would be too burdensome on your family.
You're looking for another intellectual framework to understand your patterns without actually feeling them.
You believe that all a man needs is gratitude from his family for carrying his burdens.
You're seeking a guru with all the answers rather than a container where your own wisdom can emerge.
You're unwilling to be uncomfortable, to sit in the fire of your own experience.
You expect perfect results without the ongoing practice of presence in daily life.
You're not ready to prioritize this work in a way that might disrupt the carefully constructed image you've built for yourself.
But Don’t Take My Word For it
“While men's work is still relatively small in the broader population, I sometimes find the world saturated with unqualified or uninspiring coaches and guides; many who are unqualified to do so either because of a lack of real world experience, a lack of training, or having ego driven personalities and tactics.
What is most refreshing to me is Sean comes to this work as a humble servant yet an Admired Leader; specifically bringing a strong balance of credibility and competence while not falling into the trap of developing a superior-subordinate relationship. I can't speak highly enough about Sean's tactics, intuitions, and care for this work, and I encourage anyone of any background or experience to spend time with him.”
—Matt E.
“These retreats reaffirm for me that there is endless amounts of love in the world to be felt, to be cultivated, and to be given. These retreats help me slow down, to feel, to listen, to give, and to connect deeply with my fellow men.
The atmosphere of these retreats has been so deeply positive and the human connection has been more than I could ever ask for. The openness to heal, to share, and to grow together left me with so much hope for my own life and the healing of our world. I've left these experiences with what I consider lifelong friends and feeling very much a part of a larger bonded and accepting community.I've never cried so much in one weekend, both for myself and others, and this showed me how safe I felt in that container to show up fully with the sensitive little boy that lives in my heart.
These retreats are worth every penny, and I wish every human could experience one weekend in their life as profound and rich as this.”
—Eric H.
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The Benefits
Imagine what becomes possible when you develop the capacity to stay present with yourself, even during your most challenging moments:
Your partner feels a growing trust that you'll remain present even during conflict, creating deeper intimacy and connection.
Your children experience a father who can hold their big emotions without abandoning them emotionally, breaking generational patterns of disconnection.
Your work and leadership flow from authentic presence rather than reactive patterns, creating ripples of impact beyond what you can measure.
The Thing that once haunted you from the shadows now moves through you differently—not because you've banished it, but because you've learned to stay with it, to listen, to bring it into relationship.
You develop a quiet confidence that comes not from controlling your surroundings, but from knowing you can trust yourself at your edges.
The System
Into the Fire includes:
Two 3-night immersive retreats near Portland, Oregon (July & November)
Four group medicine ceremonies
Bi-weekly integration circles (virtual)
Three 1:1 support calls
Core Triads – brotherhood pods that meet regularly throughout the program for practice, accountability, and deeper connection
Daily practices tailored to your specific patterns
Ongoing brotherhood beyond the formal program
Through this container, you'll move through the four pillars in a progressive journey that builds capacity and through practice, connection, and integration. Each element is designed to support your sovereignty while providing the relational field where deep transformation becomes possible.
The July cohort is limited to 12 men. Five seats are already filled.
The Next Steps
The investment for this five-month journey is $10,000.
I understand this is a significant commitment. You may have tried other methods and containers with limited or disappointing results. I’ve been there.
The investment in this program also represents:
Less than a year of weekly therapy
Less than four 1:1 psilocybin sessions
Way less than divorce
And a fraction of what most men spend cycling through approaches that offer temporary relief without lasting change.
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Ready to explore if Into the Fire is right for you?
This journey isn't for everyone. It's for men who recognize that the patterns emerging in their most challenging moments aren't flaws to be fixed but messengers asking for integration. Men who are ready to stop dancing around the edges of their darkness and instead walk through it with others who won't turn away.